spheres

Twenty years ago I had a cleaning business.

It was rare, but sometimes you got to "know" the people who tended to work late in the buildings you cleaned. it was rare but generally impossible to ever become friends w/ office workers. The economic divide was too great--I made more money than them--but they wore suits and pretty dresses to work while I came in wearing jeans and tennis shoes and wiped dirty ashtrays for a living, a demarcation that can never be breached.

But sometimes you'd strike up a conversation w/ someone... a night owl... and after talking to them everyday for a while, you knew some things about them. They became more than a body sitting there. They became, not just a human being, but something approaching friendship, despite the made-up chasm separating you. Two human beings.

There was this guy named Jonathan. He worked at Penn Square after the FDIC took it over in 1983. He worked at least until 7, sometimes later, almost everyday. Even on Fridays. He either loved his work, wanted to avoid his personal life as long as possible, or constantly remained in his immediate superior's doghouse. He was there longer than I was.

One night it became immediately clear that he was in a funk. I asked him why.

"Because my supervisor goes thru people's mail. Even mail marked 'PERSONAL'. By the time it gets to you, the envelope's been opened. So you know. Somebody's read it. it pisses me off. Can't he see PERSONAL written on the envelope?"

"Why don't you talk to him about it? Tell him how you feel."

Jonathan paused, thinking about the question. "Because it might help him," he finally said.

I was stunned. Horrified. I was so terribly young. I had no clue of what he meant.

Since then I've come to find: There are people in your life, hopefully on the barest of its periphery, who you come in contact with but really don't want/need/choose to know. People of whom it can positively be said it would be best never entered your life in any way, shape or form.

Not every person has friend potential. I wish that weren't true, but it is. It doesn't mean they are "bad" and you are "good" (or vice versa) but that is the way it is.

Bottom line: you're better off if your sphere of influence never intersects with theirs.

That's all I'm saying.